Key of Solitute
by Cebad2710
Summary: 'What was it that he was trying to make? What was it that man had worked on until his life ended? What is it that he wanted to make for me?   This…Kokoro' IchiRuki, just not in the usual way. One shot, maybe two shots if responses are good.


**A/N: Hello there minna! How are ya? Okay, this is my first try at a one shot. Yes, it is IchiRuki, just not in the usual way. I wanted to portray something different.**

**This story was inspired by a PV of a Vocaloid song, sung by the Kagamine twins called 'Kokoro' and 'Kokoro Kiseki'. It was a series of songs and I was so touched by it that I cried when I listened to it! So I had this urge to write a story based on that!**

**It was really hard to write at first since it was really dull, not my style at all. But it gets better when it reaches the end! So please give me your full support and read until the end! Onegaimasu!**

**I highly recommend that you listen to the song 'Kokoro and Kokoro Kiseki'(collab of the two songs in the series) when you read this, since I was listening to it when I wrote this!**

**Let the story begin! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I DONOT own Bleach nor the song.**

"Now, open your eyes," I heard a voice say. I obeyed the command like I was programmed to.

A light shined onto my eyes, I blinked once to get used to the brightness.

A man stood in front of me, smiling. He had orange hair and brown eyes, wearing a white lab coat. His smile went wider when I looked at him, he opened his arms wide and his eyes seem watery.

I stared back at him.

He looked a little…confused. But his smile never wore off. He took me into his arms and hugged me tight. There was sniffling coming from the man and I felt something wet on my shoulder.

After a while, he pulled away. He looked at me with his watery eyes, trails of the droplets going down his face. It wasn't after another few seconds or so did he say his next question.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked. I processed his words in my system and found the right answer.

"Yes, you are my professor." I answered, not a word more, not a word less.

"Do you remember who you are?" he asked again. His smile started to go away.

"Yes, my name is Kuchiki Rukia, age twelve, birthday January 14." I answered from my profile data.

His smile is gone now. He is frowning. He lifted his right hand and placed it on my chest, his left hand was placed on his own chest, just above the organ I knew from my data banks.

He sighed. Plucking off the wires from my head, he opened the door and told me to go out to 'play'.

I stepped out onto the grass. It was a grass plain outside. I could see a line of coniferous trees in the distance. A cherry blossom tree seedling stood some distance away from where I stood.

I stood there and stared at the seedling while I ran a scan in my data bank for the meaning of 'play'.

"To occupy oneself in amusement, sport, or other recreation," I recited. Sitting down on the ground, I watched the seedling. I am occupying myself. With my ears, I heard the sound of keys being pressed on the keyboard. He is on the computer.

I sat there watching the seedling, unmoving. The sun set and it got dark. The sky was the same color as my hakusho now. The keys continued clicking inside the house.

Then, they stopped. I heard footsteps, fast footsteps, then the sound of the door opening.

"Rukia!" he called. "Come inside!" I obeyed. His smile was back again.

When I got in the house, he connected the wires to my head again. Pressing a button, he began sending files into my data bank.

Automatically, I opened the files.

There were a lot of pictures. Of rabbits, violets, crayons and colorful dresses. There were lots of pictures of laughter, even some of crying. I saved them one by one.

The information flow stopped. There was a beeping noise coming from his screen, a flashing red window kept popping up on the screen.

ERROR, it read.

The files I saved began deleting themselves. They could not be recovered.

His fingers pressed on the keys in a quick manner. He was frowning again, water—sweat, I corrected—dripped down the side of his face.

The window stayed on the screen. He landed a fist on the table with a loud sound. He was looking at the floor with his eyes closed. Seating down on his chair, he held a knuckle to each of his temples.

"Why, why, why…" he said. "Why won't it work?"

"Question unidentified. Insufficient information. Answer not found. System unable to compose reply." I responded to his question.

He lifted his head and looked at me. He didn't say a word. His mouth opened then closed, but no sound was detected.

"Go," he said. "Go…go to bed." I obeyed.

Lying down on my bed, I closed my eyes. My eyelids blocked off my vision, so I could only stare at that.

Eight hours, forty-three minutes and nineteen seconds passed.

"Wake up, Rukia." I opened my eyes. He was standing at the foot of my bed, holding a plate of food and smiling at me.

"How was your night?" he asked me, setting the plate down on the table beside my bed. He sat down on the chair on the other side of my bed. "Did you sleep well?"

"It was fine, thank you very much. I did, thank you very much. How about you?" I replied. His smile turned down a little.

"Yes, it was fine for me too." He looked at the floor. I noticed the dark circles around his eyes.

I stared at him.

"Well," he said, looking up and smiling again. "You must be hungry, Rukia! I've prepared your favorite food for breakfast today!"

I took the tray onto my lap and looked at the contents.

There was a stack of syrup-covered pancakes, a few pieces of bacon, a French toast and a glass of milk.

"Thank you very much." I said. He stroked my hair while I ate it.

"Come outside when you are done," he told me. "I want to teach you something."

I followed him outside to the front of the blossom tree. He picked up the watering can beside it and watered the seedling with a smile.

"Here," he said as he handed me a bunch of song sheets. "You try singing this."

I looked at the scores and began to sing.

When I was done, he had a frown on his face.

"When you sing you should have more emotions, Rukia." He told me.

"What is 'emotions'?" I asked. It was not in my data base.

He opened his mouth, then closed it. He stayed silent for a while, then he spoke.

"It isn't something that you could understand through words, how about I sing the line for you? Then you would be able to experience it." I nodded. He smiled.

"It should be like this," he sang the line.

I copied.

He tried another line.

I copied.

He sang the whole song.

I copied.

Finally he sighed and ruffled my hair.

"She just doesn't know yet." He said, walking back into the house, waving for me to follow.

Once we were back inside the house, he pointed at the computer,

"Rukia," he said. "You are not to touch that computer, okay? It..might be…too much for…you." I nodded. He pushed me up the stairs. "Go play."

I walked up the stairs, the beeping of error messages went on as he sat in front of the computer. I sat on my bed. I could hear the sound of confirmation messages, error messages and sometimes the sound of keys being hit too hard.

From that day on, he kept bringing me outside. He taught me what was 'joy', 'life', 'happiness', 'sadness', 'anger' and other things that are called 'emotions'.

My system could not save the data.

He taught me how to cry.

I copied.

He taught me how to laugh.

I copied.

He taught me how to be angry.

I copied.

He taught me how to care for the blossom tree.

I copied.

The tree grew taller, and he grew shorter. His orange hair turned whiter. The time he spent to take me outside got lesser.

Soon, the only place he went to was in front of his computer. The number of error messages increased.

He made himself a walking stick.

On the spring day when the cherry blossom tree was again in full blossom, he got out of his chair. Walking using the walking stick, he ruffled my hair when he passed.

"I'll be out for a while…Rukia." I watched him walk slowly towards the tree, then sat down against the tree trunk.

He was far from where I stood, I could only see his silhouette. I stood by the door. Until he gives the command to move.

The tree grew taller and taller. He hasn't moved yet.

I looked at the flowers on the tree, it had already went through fifty three cycles since he sat down there.

I held my hands to my chest, an unfamiliar action.

I was…curious. I…wanted to know, what was it that he was trying to make? What was it that man had worked on until his life ended? What is it that he wanted to make for me?

This…Kokoro?

I wanted to know.

A wish.

The computer screen behind me lit up. I turned around.

PROCEED? It read.

I walked over to it. The recording of his voice played from my storage banks.

_You are not to touch that computer, okay? It..might be…too much for…you._

I touched the computer screen.

Many hovering screens suddenly appeared, some showed data, some showed pictures, some showed recordings. One of them showed two pictures of the same girl, me.

Just that one was dressed in a colorful dress and one was dressed in a black hakusho, just like me. There was an arrow-like gauge between them, labeled 'memories', pointing from the 'me' in the dress to the 'me' in the black hakusho.

I wasn't aware of them all.

For there was a flood of videos, images and a flood of…'emotions' invading my system firewall. My defenses were not enough to keep them at bay.

My eyes widened.

"_Are you sure you want to adopt her? She's only a year old." A woman with her hair braided in front of her said to him. In her arms lay a baby girl, with black hair and wide violet eyes. "She's also not in the best of conditions either."_

"_It doesn't matter," he said, smiling gently at the girl. He reached out and took the girl into his hands gently, as if she was a precious porcelain sculpture, one sudden move and she may break. "I live alone anyways, I hope _she_ wouldn't mind _me_! Haha!"_

"_Her name is Rukia isn't it?" he asked, voice gentle, trying to coo the baby to sleep._

"_Yes, Kuchiki Rukia. If you want, I could help you change the last name to 'Kurosaki' instead…"he shook his head._

"_Her parents may not have wanted her, but she isn't mine. I wouldn't want to steal her choice and force myself into the role of her real father." _

_He looked at the beautiful baby in his arms, seeing himself reflected in those expressive violet orbs, at that moment, he knew that the girl would be his everything._

* * *

><p>"<em>Daddy, Daddy!" the little black haired girl from before was older now, around five years old. She wore a colorful dress, ran around the grass plain that was filled with brilliantly colored flowers. Her arms wide open as she ran, as if embracing nature.<em>

"_Look! I'm a bird!" she laughed and jumped around, flapping her small little arms. Her violet eyes shone with joy. He laughed heartily and ran after her._

"_And daddy's a big, bad eagle whose going to eat up the little black bird!" he chased the giggling little girl around on her small little legs. Scooping her up into his arms in one motion, he tickled the squealing child, causing her to kick about wildly unable to hold back her laughter against the powerful attack of his tickling._

_After a while of playing around, he collapsed onto the grass, panting. Seeing her father lying down, Rukia laid down beside him too. _

"_Daddy, when I grow up, I'll make a room full of snowdrops, rabbits and other cute things!" she reached up towards the sky as if she could reach the room she thought of in the sky. Then she hugged an invisible bunny. "I want to be able to invent toys and other amazing things just like you, daddy!"_

_He laughed, the sound seems to travel across the grass plain, pass the forest and into the city lights beyond the trees, where he knew that no one was listening._

"_Why are you crying, daddy?" the little girl pouted when she saw the clear droplets rolling down his face. "Did you not like cute things?"_

_He startled and wiped his eye with a finger, seeing the wetness on his finger, he quickly wiped away rest of the evidence._

"_No, daddy likes cute things! Daddy's just so happy that daddy cried!" he laughed and smiled…it seems so fake, so forced. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly, his throat clenched, an invisible fist gripped his heart and squeezed it hard._

"_Daddy loves you…so don't leave me…"_

* * *

><p>"<em>Daddy! Listen to this!" the girl was once again older, her hair got longer and the lock of hair that went down the middle of her face reached her small nose. She has to be around ten.<em>

_She sang a tune, the melody so beautiful. It sang of meadows, rainbows and bunnies. It was so full of emotion. This song that was sung from the bottom of her heart, it touched him so deeply. Her beautiful voice filled him with pride._

_This was his daughter, his wonderful daughter._

"_How was it daddy?" she asked enthusiastically when she finished. Her large violet eyes so pure and full of childish innocence, even if it was bad—which it isn't—he didn't have the heart to tell her._

"_Yes, sweetie, it was beautiful!"he laughed and took her into his arms, rocking her gently. She giggled at the compliment and she grinned smugly._

"_Of course it is nice! I'm your daughter!" she said smugly, patting her chest. "I'll be the most famous singer in the world! Then I'll announce to the world that you are my most awesome father!"_

_He laughed with her, his little sunshine. _

* * *

><p>The gauge lit up, one marking at a time.<p>

* * *

><p><em>The little girl was still wearing those colorful dresses, still had that brilliant smile on her face.<em>

_But she wasn't jumping around anymore. _

_She sat on a wheelchair, an IV drip attached to her wrist from the tall pole she wheeled around in her other hand._

_He was pushing the handles of the wheelchair, the gentle smile on his face only made him look older than he actually was._

_He pushed her across the grass to the spot where the cherry blossom tree would now occupy._

"_Daddy, I want to plant it here." She said, holding up a small seed._

"_Alright, this would be the spot then." He said, stopping. "Are you sure you want to plant this cherry blossom? Why not something that has flowers which lasts longer? Like an apple tree?"_

_She shook her head, her bright smile looks out of place on her pale features._

"_Cherry blossoms bloom for only a week, but it's really beautiful. The cherry blossoms have a short life-span, yet they live it to the fullest. I just wanted to see it once." She bent down and began digging weakly._

_His hand held on to her much smaller one, helping her dig up the soil._

"_Let's plant this tree together so we can watch it bloom together."_

_The little girl was now lying on a white hospital bed. An oxygen mask tapped to her nose and mouth. Her face was deathly pale, her violet eyes were dull, it held no life at all._

_But she was smiling under the mask._

_He held her thin hand in both his hands tightly, trying to warm the ice-cold fingers he held. Salty droplets welled in his eyes, but he held them back. A smile as gentle as the one he wore when he first saw her graced his features._

"_Rukia…it will be alright. You can do this sweetie, you will live on." He muttered the encouraging words. Was it to reassure Rukia or himself? He didn't know._

"_I'm your…daughter, daddy…of…course I'll pull…through…"she managed. But even this short sentence made her gasp for air._

_He stroked her cold cheeks. It was so painful to watch. His sunshine was dying, yet he couldn't do anything against this eternal eclipse. At her every feeble action, it felt like a stake was driven into his heart, filling it with holes of anguish. He remembered all his failures when he tried to find a cure for her, he bit his lip._

_He wanted to cry and beg for that man above to save her, though he had never believed the existence of that being. But he knew that even if God really exist, he wouldn't receive an answer, for that man had long since abandoned him._

_He mustn't cry, he needs her daughter to be strong. _He_ has to be strong for her daughter._

_Gripping her hand tighter, it seems like he could just hold her life there if he didn't let go. Seems like if he didn't hold on to her tightly enough , she would disappear like a mist, to never return to him with her melodious voice._

_Why? Why was he so useless? Why can't he succeed in finding the cure? Why? Why can't he even save the life of the only person so dear to him? Why is he so useless and hateful? Why must someone so kind and innocent like her suffer? Why? Why? Why...?_

_Then, the machine stopped beeping, the shrill ringing of the machine made his blood ran colder than ice._

"_DOCTOR!DOCTOR! GET OVER HERE! HURRY!" he screamed frantically. His eyes wide and his mind unstable. He couldn't think anymore. His sky came crushing down on him, the weight on his shoulders forced him on his knees. _

_Was he crying? Was he screaming? Was he struggling? He doesn't know. He saw but can't see, he heard but couldn't listen. His mind couldn't work anymore. He was sure that his heart was already gone, already grounded painfully into nothingness, that would explain the deserted emptiness in his chest._

_The doctors rushed over to her bed, what they were doing he doesn't know. All he knew was that his daughter was dying, and he couldn't do anything._

I love you, daddy.

"_RUKIA! RUKIA!" he screamed her name over and over, desperate to hear that sweet voice answer him. He was only vaguely aware that doctors were holding him back, preventing him from running over to his daughter's side as they used the defibrillator on her._

_Her small body jerked up on the bed before falling limply back down again. Higher charge! The doctor ordered. _

_Tears blurred his vision, he didn't care. All he wanted to do was to go to her side, to hug her and feel her hugging back. To see her eyes shine with life, with happiness. To hear her laughter ringing in the air._

_He screamed her name. He pleaded for her to come back._

_She just smiled._

* * *

><p>I couldn't suddenly feel the warmth around me that I had never noticed. The wetness in my eyes…those are tears aren't they?<p>

Why won't they stop? Flowing down my face, the tears dripped onto the table, memories flooded my mind. My knees grew weak, and I crumpled to the floor.

My body shook with the onslaught of pain, this beating in my chest…this is the heart isn't it? Kokoro...? This is the kokoro I've hoped for isn't it?

Why…? Why is it so excruciatingly painful?

I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth. My hands fisted above my heart. Tears unable to stop.

I finally realized the reason I was created. Solitude must have been unbearable isn't it?

Shaking, I stood up from my spot, stumbling over to the door. I saw the cherry blossom tree again.

I saw the beauty I had never even thought about. The pale pink flowers, their petals softly floating in the wind. This beauty that could only be felt by the heart, just like he said, these emotions could only be experienced.

I stretched out my arms, the way I remembered doing so many years ago, and ran towards the tree. Across the wide grass plain, embracing the wind.

I laughed, the wetness blurring my vision, causing the light to bend and curl in beautiful swirls. Why was it that I've only realized the wondrous meaning of life now? This warmth in my chest, this happiness, this joy, this…sadness?

I reached the tree, what that greeted me was a pile of bones in his clothes. My knees gave out. My head light and my arms limp.

I remembered the day when he hobbled out of the house, weakly, then collapsed at the bottom of the tree. I was just standing there, watching him. Not doing anything, not _feeling_ anything. Just standing there uncaring and watching as life left his eyes.

_Arigato._

The days when he tried to teach me how to make expressions. I only copied him, not feeling anything. His pained expressions when he realized I couldn't convey feelings. I couldn't understand it all, I couldn't acknowledge his pain.

_Arigato._

When he tried to teach me how to sing, his voice was so full of emotions. But I just sang the words, I couldn't sing the emotions.

_Arigato._

My heart clenched, my throat tightened. My tears flowed. It feels like my heart was being torn out of my chest. It hammered against my artificial ribcage, smashing itself against the metal walls. Regret it must be, the regret that I hurt him so deeply with my lack of a heart.

_Arigato._

I screamed. I sang. I wanted my voice to reach him. I wanted him to know about my feelings. There are so many things I wanted to tell him from the bottom of my heart. So many emotions, so many that no words could ever describe.

_Arigato._

I wanted to tell him how much I enjoyed the time I spent with him. I wanted to tell him how thankful I was that he gave me this life. I wanted to tell him just how much I loved him.

_Arigato._

I screamed for him. I cried for him to come back, I begged for him to listen to me. To listen to this voice of my kokoro…

But it was too late. He could never hear me again.

I gripped the ache in my chest, feeling the warmth grew unbearably hot. I couldn't stop. The tears just kept flowing. The pain just kept torturing me.

This hurts! I wanted him to know, I wanted him to hear, I wanted him to see my gratitude. It was such heart-wrenching desire, pain and regret. I wanted to see him smile, to hear him laugh and to tell him that he was the person I loved the most, the best father I could ever hope for. I wanted to go to where he was.

I felt something snap inside me. My eyes widened, the scan of my system revealed that my system had shorted.

I understood.

I understood why my system had rejected it all before.

This key of solitude, he had entrusted it to me. But it was too much for me.

My vision dimmed, I could feel my power disappearing. I could no longer feel my body. This kokoro had cost me too much.

But it was worth it. To experience the beauty of this world, to know the meaning to be alive, and to express my gratitude to him. I would finally see him again, and share this beauty with him.

Like a cherry blossom, I wilted. The beauty was short, but my heart will sing for him forever.

"I love you…daddy…"

**The end of it! So how was it? How was it? *Insert sparkling, puppy eyes***

**I had a lot of fun writing this and I hoped you enjoyed it too. I know I should be working on my other stories, but I just had to write this! The plot bunny is killing me!**

**I wanted to write a second chapter from the scientist's POV, but I didn't know if I should, since the things would be basically the same anyway… so tell me what you think, if the responses are good, maybe I'll add in a second chapter…**

**Kokoro basically means heart, by the way. Mostly referred to as the intangible side of it, like feelings and emotions. So you don't go around pointing at heart and saying that it is kokoro…(Actually it's not exactly wrong that way either…) **

**And if you think I ripped off the video, just think of this as a PV. It wasn't all the same anyway. (The scientist died happy in there because the robot got its kokoro when he was still alive) **

**I feel like drawing a PV of this with Ichigo and Rukia…should I?**

**That's all! Hope you have a great day!**

**Please review! (Criticism's fine too!) **

**Arigato!**


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